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  • Writer's pictureKaren Asemper

Zero Tolerance

Have you ever been so excited you can’t sit still? Well that is how I have felt over the last few weeks, for many reasons but mainly because of the people in the audiences that I have been speaking to. So many brave people from all different walks of life. What stood out for me, and what they all had in common was their decision to stop tolerating other people’s bad and inexcusable behaviour. How can you live a happy and fulfilled life if you are spending all your energy tolerating other people, or maybe your own, bad behaviour? I asked my audiences what they had done to put their foot down to take control of their lives.

Watching your thoughts One gentleman said every day he was making himself aware of negative thinking. He reminded himself it was his choice what and who he let into his life. He realised this was affecting his self talk, making him doubt himself to the point where he couldn’t look at himself in the mirror any more. He was sabotaging himself every single day, comparing himself to others. He realised the only thing he needed to stop tolerating was his own negative thinking. Always remember it is his choice.

Anger is poison

A lady shared with me how she had been the victim of cyber bullying in which the perpetrator went to the extreme of setting up different profiles to spy on her. Now that takes a lot of energy, and negative energy to even put yourself in a position of stalking never mind the time it involves. My audience member said she realized her stalker didn’t value themselves and she wasn’t going to let that person’s negativity rub off on her. She knew that no-one could take her power away. So she reported it, taking the pressure off her own shoulders. She also realised that the stalkers anger was like poison, and was not prepared to get caught up in someone else’s story to the point where she may of started writing it herself so she sent the person plenty of hugs and kisses their way, as it seemed to her they needed it more than she did.

Saying No A young gentleman told me he had decided to stop tolerating his father’s lateness. Ever since he was a child, his father had been late for everything; parents’ evenings, and Christmas carol concerts, even his 18th birthday celebration. He was tired of his father’s excuses so decided not to invite him to anything any more. He said he felt guilty at first and then realised he didn’t need the feeling of upset in his life and could live better without it.

Sigmund Freud once said, “Most people do not really want freedom because freedom involves responsibility and most people are frightened of responsibility” It is your responsibility to say stop either to someone or to yourself. One of lives greatest gifts is that we are always learning, so lets learn what we will and will not tolerate and set that standard high.

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