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Reflecting on Christmas Time: A Journey Through Light and Darkness

Writer's picture: Karen AsemperKaren Asemper

As we prepare to welcome  in the New Year, I find myself reflecting on the holiday season and the weight of expectations that often accompany it. Christmas, with its bright lights and festive cheer, is laden with ideals of how it should look and feel. Similarly, the anticipation of New Year’s Eve brings its own set of pressures—party plans, outfits, and celebrations that seem to fit the mold of others’ expectations.


Yet, amidst this whirlwind of festivities, the winter months remind us of their true essence: a time to rest, recuperate, and prepare for the renewal that spring will bring. As I sit here, gazing at the twinkling lights on my tree, I can’t help but acknowledge that for some, these lights may not shine as brightly. It’s been four years since I lost a dear friend in December. During our walks along the Leeds Canal, he would often say, "If this doesn’t put a smile on your dial, nothing will." Little did we know how deeply sad he felt before he was gone.


Looking ahead to 2025, I’m determined to become my own best friend, prioritising my mental health above all else. Once it slips away, it can be incredibly difficult to reclaim. I remind myself to treat myself with kindness and ease. Life is rich with moments of curiosity and joy, and I believe it’s essential to pursue what brings us peace, irrespective of the noise around us.


The question “Why am I here?” echoes in the minds of many. One moment, clarity reigns; the next, we find ourselves engulfed in uncertainty. Resilience has its limits, and even the strongest among us can reach a breaking point.


My mother, one of the strongest women I know, faced her own significant challenges, including time spent in mental health institutions during her 20s and 30s. While I’m grateful for the strength I’ve inherited from her, I’m also aware of the burden it can carry—what I refer to as toxic resilience. This often clouds my ability to recognise when I’m under too much pressure or to heed the warning signs before I reach my limit.


We frequently overwhelm ourselves with demands, risking burnout and emotional upheaval. Acknowledging our limits is crucial for our well-being. One practice that has profoundly affected my life is meditation. Although it isn’t for everyone, I’ve witnessed remarkable changes in my perspective over the past 16 years. Meditation has taught me to look inward, offering clarity and tranquility amidst chaos.


As we navigate life’s ups and downs, finding tools to help us through the dark moments is essential. Whether it’s through meditation, therapy, or simply prioritising self-care, we must put our mental health first. Recognising our boundaries and understanding our emotions can guide us back to the light, step by step.


In reflecting on my journey, I’m reminded that while darkness may loom, it is the pursuit of light and understanding that propels us forward.


1. Acknowledge Your Limits: Recognise when you’re feeling overwhelmed and take the necessary steps to avoid burnout.


2. Embrace Vulnerability: Even the strongest individuals experience struggles. Seeking help and taking breaks is essential for mental health.


3. Meditation as a Tool : Consider adding meditation or mindfulness to your routine for clarity and calm during turbulent times.


4. Prioritise Self-Care:  Make self-care an essential part of your life. Engage in activities that rejuvenate you, whether that’s hobbies or relaxation techniques.


5. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or professionals when feeling lost. Opening up can illuminate your path ahead.


6. Pursue Growth: Use challenging moments as opportunities for personal growth. Reflecting on experiences can lead to greater self-awareness and resilience.


As we move forward into the New Year, let’s carry these insights with us, nurturing our mental health and embracing the journey ahead.



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