Is Fear Really Keeping Us Safe, or Just Keeping Us Small?

I’ve been thinking a lot about fear lately. Not the big, obvious fears, but those little things we avoid without really questioning why.

I started travelling alone in 2021, and it’s been one of the most empowering things I’ve done in my life.

But being comfortable doing things alone isn’t new to me. I started going out for dinner by myself when I was 23. I went to the cinema alone in my twenties. I’ve never really thought twice about doing those things.

Yet when I started travelling, there was something I wouldn’t do.

Get on a local bus in a foreign city.

I’d walk miles, find another way or simply miss out on somewhere I wanted to visit.

Why?

I told myself it was about staying safe. I didn’t want to get lost, have my phone out looking at directions or appear as though I didn’t know what I was doing.

But I’ve realised something.

It wasn’t really about the bus. It was about being vulnerable.

I didn’t want people to see that I was unsure of myself.

Recently, while travelling in Canada, I decided to do something different. I got on the bus.

I met a lovely woman at the bus stop, had a conversation and ended up going on a hike I might otherwise have missed.

And it made me think about how often we hold ourselves back, not because we can’t do something, but because we don’t want to feel uncomfortable or exposed.

I remember listening to an Oprah podcast where a guest spoke about doing one thing every month that took them outside their comfort zone.

What a lovely way to approach life.

Because the more I think about it, the more I realise that confidence isn’t necessarily about knowing what you’re doing.

Sometimes it’s about being willing not to know.

Being willing to ask questions, get something wrong, feel a little foolish or admit you need help.

And perhaps that’s where real confidence begins.

We spend so much of our lives trying to protect ourselves from discomfort, but sometimes that protection prevents us from experiencing something wonderful.

Of course, fear can keep us safe. It’s there for a reason. But it’s worth asking whether the fear we’re experiencing is protecting us from genuine danger or simply protecting us from feeling vulnerable.

So here’s something to think about:

What is one small thing you’ve been avoiding, not because you can’t do it, but because you don’t want to feel vulnerable?

And what might happen if you gave yourself permission to try?