5 Steps To An Achievement Enriched 2017

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“……Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference” Reinhold Niebuhr.

January is always my busiest time of the year. It is great that people want to hit the year running and make the most of what they can achieve. Over the years I have noticed a theme. The words ‘in the past’ or ‘last year when’ seem to pop up a lot in coaching conversations and create a theme of not wanting to let go. It can seem hard to let go of the past as whatever has happened can give us a sense of identity. Maybe this is why we hold on to challenging situations a lot longer than we need to. We replay situations over and over, of when we were achieving and when we were not achieving and still don’t go in the direction we need to. By not letting go of these situations we create pressure on ourselves, damaging self worth little by little as we carry on. Maybe a great start to the New Year could be letting go of anger, fear and bitterness; the key players in the search for success in every situation. So like Maria in sound of Music said ’Lets start from the very beginning’ for 2017.
1. Letting go of frustration. Whether its with yourself, a situation or someone else. Carrying frustration will only cause anxiety and make whatever it is you are frustrated about seem bigger than it actually is. Give yourself a frustration window of say five minutes. Vent your frustration for this time only. And when you are finished close by saying ‘I let you go’. Try this for five minutes every day if you need to, working your way through to once a week until you feel like you don’t need to give it attention any more.
2. Taking responsibility. Responsibility is huge. It’s easy to always focus on what others did. What could you have done to make the situation different? Don’t give your power away by playing the blame game. Empower yourself by making responsibility your friend.
3. Worry Off. You worry about being late, you worry about deadlines etc. Worry may pretend to be a necessary part of the scenario but serves no purpose unless you want high blood pressure. Ask the question when you are about to play ‘worry out.’ How will this serve or help me in whatever the situation is?
4. Stepping out of the box. Try something different. Maybe its volunteering trying a different niche. Put yourself out there and show what you have to offer.
5. Laughter. It might seem silly, but if you are honest, how often do you laugh? Laughter creates joy and holding joy is a great gift and helps you see life and situations differently. Hence, letting go.

Give these five nuggets a go and let me know how you get on. It really can be a beautiful world, letting go one step at a time.

 

Are You Holding Your Life Back One Word At A Time?

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I think most of us know that the words we use in our speech and even in our thoughts have a powerful influence on our mood, happiness and outcomes in life.

This year I was diagnosed with inflammatory arthritis and was offered Methotrexate or Sulfasalazine, which are very toxic drugs. Methotrexate is a chemotherapy agent and is used to treat cancer. I declined the offer of the drugs and the consultant kept saying “your arthritis”. I corrected the doctor by letting him know that this was not mine and that I had no intention of taking ownership of the disease or the “dis ease” that I referred to as having a holiday in all of my joints. Like any holiday it would have to come to an end. I wasn’t in denial. If you know anything about inflammatory arthritis, you will know that the pain is unbearable, but I felt that the best way to treat an immune disorder would be to focus on my immune system and heal that way. The doctor told me that many people commit suicide because of the pain and the changes it can have on your life, as it is a crippling disease.

I really believe in healthy body and healthy mind so my focus was to keep my mindset strong. My goal was set for medication free remission and reversal of inflammatory arthritis.

Words are not only tools for communication. Words can be like jewels or stones; joyful or damaging. Everything is energy as described in quantum physics so everything vibrates, even words and we need to keep our vibrations high. Try it out for yourself. Think of a negative experience and see what happens to your body. Maybe it’s a sinking feeling in your stomach. Low energy, furrowed brows etc. Now think of a joyful experience and feel the difference. Maybe your chest feels open, you feel a weight lifting off your shoulders.

I chose to describe arthritis as a gift and turned the word to a positive feeling. Even when the pain was unbearable I shifted my mindset to knowing this would not last forever. The saying “this too shall pass” became my mantra. I wasn’t in denial as I knew I had a choice in how I was going to handle my body and I chose to keep my words bright and light. 12 months later I am in remission and my body is having time to heal itself. My words are positive and my mindset is strong.

Have a think about the words you are using every single day and see what changes you can make.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King Junior

 

Why Three Is Never A Crowd On The Road To Success

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Its about six weeks to go to until Christmas,  where has the year gone?   I’m currently filming a feature film called The Last Laugh,  written by John Godber and directed by award winning director Daniel Cole.  Hence, the reason why I’ve been quiet.  Unfortunately, when running your own business you can’t really afford to go off the radar.  So I thought it was time to hold myself accountable for my actions and the best way to do this is by having a coach – even coaches go off track!     Or start a mastermind group.  I’ve always found that I am the type of person who achieves more when chasing my dreams with a team around me.  Having the involvement of mutually committed people has always been a winner and is intensely rewarding.   A mastermind group has created friendships,  helped towards my goals  and measured my progress.  Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich’   talks of the power of the mastermind group.

 

How to achieve a group.

If you want to start your own mastermind group, gather together a group of likeminded people who are striving for a common purpose.   Having mutual support is a key to success.  Sometimes when I have lost vision or felt stuck, my mastermind group has been able to put me back to track.  Hearing different perspectives on an idea can soon blow the brain clouds away and help you re-focus.

 

Its brilliant if your group is a mix of creative talents and skill sets and a wide network of people that will come in handy for you all   Also, something which I find most helpful is holding myself and the group accountable.  Give yourself a time to meet every 6-8 weeks.   Just knowing that you are committed to a timescale makes you work hard because who wants to be the only person who hasn’t committed and made an effort to move their project forward.  All you have to do is to pick between 3-6 people who you feel you fit with.  Make sure you set the boundaries out at the start.  No stealing ideas.  You are all there to support each other.  Remember, a mastermind group is only as successful as the people in it.   In the meeting give each other equal time to discuss their topic and keep to a time frame.  Do you need an agenda?  That’s up to your group.    See what works best for you all.   In the group I work with we take turns to facilitate so   we make sure we keep to a timeframe and  keep the speaker on track.  We also capture what happened at the meeting so we can see the triumphs, goals and lessons we want to keep each other accountable for.  It really is as easy as that.  Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day but it would have been a lot harder without a team of  people behind it. 

 

 

 

How To Turn Negativity Into a Positive Light

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I’m sure I’m not the only one who has heard it. What are you? Are you in or are you out? I don’t know about you but the pressure to do what is best for the UK has almost become too much. Trying to make your mind up with the pressure from the media can be hard especially when there are negative situations going on all around us in everyday life. Sometimes we can be seen as being sensitive but I like to call it being human.

When times get too heavy I choose to limit my news watching and my social media because it can be hard to be a positive light in the world when so much negativity is going on all around us. How to stay bright is the key when you are on your path to achieving greatness every step of the way.

Do you feel the weight of the world? If you do then let me share with you an example of how to keep going on your journey to greatness. Meditation has been a saving grace to many and I myself share a daily practice of meditation. There are many ways to keep yourself sane in a world like ours. Breathing exercises can be great also. Last weekend I spent time at a Buddhist retreat where we learned a technique of Tonglen which in Tibetan means giving and taking or sending and receiving. In the practice we visualise taking in the suffering of others and whatever pain we are feeling for ourselves or whatever challenges we may be facing at the time. We breathe this in visualising on an in breath, taking in all the stresses and strains of everyday life. On the outbreath we visualise compassion, peace and the recognition that in that moment we are sending love, peace and happiness to all sentient beings. The aim of the practice is to reduce attachment to situations, so our sensitivity to pain. It will also help to develop and express calmness, and create positive karma for ourselves which can only be a good thing. The Dalai Lama says about Tonglen “whether this meditation really helps others or not, it gives me peace of mind then I can be more effective and the benefit is immense”.

Which ever way you have voted have no regrets. You have done your best to help create a Greater Briton.

 

How To Say What You Really feel

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Tense, nervous headaches might sound like an advert for cold or flu capsules but they are also some of the symptoms we can feel if we have to have a difficult conversation with someone who is a close friend or colleague.

I was asked how would I handle a conversation that was difficult to have by one of my coaching clients, and while reading a few social media posts I thought it would be great to share as it seems lot’s of us need to have them but put off due to the fear of confrontation. The key is to find a balance and keep it simple.

When you have to have a difficult conversation with someone you are close to whether it is a friend or a staff member your first port of call would be to prepare. What is your intention? Is it to hurt or progress.

Be sure about why you are having the conversation in the first place. What is the objective and what do you want to accomplish?

Be direct and empathetic at the same time and don’t let it become emotional.

So remember the objective and what the outcome is you would like to accomplish.

If you feel that you have come to the end of the conversation don’t drag it out by long apologies, wrap it up so you can move on. We all need time to adjust so maybe don’t get your diary out straight away and plan the next Karaoke night.

Remember, most people don’t like confrontation but leaving it will only make it worse.